Ada Aba

Sometimes people take a long time to discover themselves. I am nearly 33 years old, and finally found that I was not a fossil, but a woman with a typical "Leo personality".

I read some statements in a magazine about"Leo personality", I thought that the characteristics are general enough to be applied to any person... especially those horoscopes, such nonsense!But I found that too many people around me like to discuss this issue.  A lot of people of the same astrological sign have the same character.My cousin said she contacted several Leo, I was one of them, are very emotional, and suddenly want to do one thing, they will immediately warming up. She also said that she contacted the Virgo people who usually have got a little cleanliness. I disagree, I know that the horoscope is a statistical technique, a human character classification statistically. Through the birthday and place, to arrive at a unique astrological chart, and after analysis, will be aware of the characteristics of a person's character. But I think it is not applicable to any person, since the use of statistics, it is only relative data.

Until today I found a description of the article of Leo women, God, that is, describing my own thing. I do not know the constellation statistically whether fit you or not, but according to the following description, I found the Leo character is the best description of my own character. Very interesting.

For example:

"Leo people do not want to waste a little energy and time, they also need desperately to do the winner. Born in this way: disdain all the things,they must take the initiative in a love , in the business world, family life and friendship also . "

Indeed, this is the essence of my personality, strong, brave, and unwilling to admit defeat. I always want to win, want to be a useful person.

"Leo women have  noticed that today's virgin is hard to find,but still hope that her husband is a virgin. Once she know he had sex with another woman before, she might be unhappy,no passion in their sex life,though she do not say anything.  "

Well, this seems shy to admit for me, I used to be so, especially when I was a virgin , But my ex is not a virgin. when the situation happened,I was uncomfortable. Sometimes I think I am a perfectionist, require perfect on my own and also others.

" When the Leo's boyfriend sometimes focus on their work or activities while naturally decreased attention toward her, Yet ,Leo woman can not tolerate the slightest neglect. "

This Sentence is more interesting, in fact, I know I am sensitive, especially when I engage in a intimate relationships, I want to attract more attention,the more the better. Once I feel ignored, I felt uncomfortable, I will complain, cry, or lose my temper.

This article also talked about the character traits of the pairing for Leo women.

It has  inspired me to further develop my abilities to manage myself, it gave me a ray of hope. I remembered Helen. Keller who wrote "If you give me three days light", I found that I understand her desires,I try to discover myself,this feeling of desire just like a blind man who looking for bright which will not present forever,it is so eager. The world is so wonderful, the truth is there, the essence is unchanged. Let us  find one pair of bright eyes to discover them.

有时候人们发现自己的过程显得非常漫长。我今年接近三十三，终于发现了自己原来不是什么怪人，也不是什么化石，而是一个具有典型狮子座性格的女人。

我以前对一些杂志上陈述的所谓狮子座性格并不感冒，觉得他们在泛泛而谈，说得没有一些特色，套在任何人身上都似乎适用。特别是那些星座运程什么的，一派胡言。但是我发现身边实在太多人去讨论这个问题，同一星座的人很多都具有相同的性格特征。我表姐说她接触了好几个狮子座的人，我是其中之一，都是非常的情绪化，突然想去做一件事情，就会马上热乎起来。她还说到了她接触的好些个处女座人士都有洁癖等等。我当时不以为然，我知道星座占卜是一种统计学，一种将人类性格特徵分类的统计学。透过出生年、月、日、时间和地点，便可得出一个独一无二的占星图，而经过分析，便可得知一个人的性格特徵。但是不可能对任何人都适用，既然运用的是统计学，那就只能是相对的数据。

直到今天我发现了一篇描述狮子座女性的文章，天啊，那就是在描述我自己嘛。我不知道星座统计学是否对您是用，但是根据如下的描述，我发现了狮子座性格特征是对我自己的性格特征的最好的描述。非常有趣。

例如：

“狮子座人也不愿浪费一点精力时间，他们也要拼命去做胜利者。他们生来就傲视一切，在任何一场恋爱中都要主动。在生意场上、家庭生活中以及友情关系方面皆如此。”

这的确是我的性格本质，坚强，勇敢，不愿服输。力争上游，总是想要赢，想要做一个有用的人。

“狮子座女性明知当今童男贞女已不多了，却仍希望自己是男方的第一个女人。一旦知道对方也和别的女人交欢过，女方嘴上不说什么，心里醋海掀波，结果性生活时也没有什么热情了。”

嗯，这个好像不太好意思说，我也曾经是这样，特别是当我还是处女的时候，对对方不是处男的情况的确是不舒服的。有时候觉得自己是个完美主义者，对人对事对自己都要求尽善尽美。

“男方有时专注于自己的工作或活动，自然对女方的关注就削弱了一点。狮子座女人是不能容忍半点被忽视的。”

这句更有意思了，其实我知道自己就是个敏感的人，在男女关系中，我想要受到注意，越多越好。一旦感觉被忽略，我就觉得不舒服，就会做出比较大的反应。

这一篇文章还具体讲述了和狮子座女性配对的星座的性格特征。

我又进一步了解了自己，这让我看到了一丝曙光。我记得海伦。凯勒写的《假如给我三天光明》，我发现我了解自己的欲望，就好像一个盲人在寻找那永远不存在三天的光明一样热切。世界是那么的奇妙，真相是存在的，本质是不变的。让我们拥有一双发现光明的眼睛吧。

I met the girlfriend in October last year, another city near me. When I saw her in the video, a pair of huge eyes embedded in the high frontal, a little dark skin. Appears to be a very outspoken girl. She was on the verge of despair, because her ex who has been married, still pursuing her, and even more incredible was that she got in touch with his wife by phone, His wife seemed very helpless  for his actions. It is said that this man had cheated a few women (by rip-off,includes her money). I could see this matter dealt a serious blow to her, be seen from her depressed mood, she felt bad luck, she said what she ask for actually very simple, just want  a man to be love within  a real life.

But then twists and turns, a bit weird, she got a friend's advice,went to the dating site,hoping to meet her Mr.right someday. she did not know how to operate, just went to a website and sign up.

More incredible is that she basically does not speak English, but she wanted to marry a guy from oversea.

Interesting is her photo. When her showed off her photo,Several girls thought that  the photo could not show her great personality, She just used her face-shot with a webcam. A pair of innocent eyes looked very confused. Interesting that An older sister told her more directly::"I think  your photo will provoke a liar, because your eyes look confused,and you seem completely lost way.I advise you use the other one. "Although she was still willing to accept our views, but we worried that she might experience a very long time searching, after all, she seemed to have no idea, unprepared, but also wanted to go to the other side of the ocean to find her husband, which was really a bit ... Yet, I was still very much appreciated her frank, sincere and courageous.

However, I recently heard some of her messages. Last night I contacted her. We said hello to each other and she began to talked about her stuff. She is preparing for the  fiance reunion now. This made me stunned. What makes this love across time and space, also across borders so easily?

This should not be regarded as news, the magic is her fiance, a Chinese-Americans who working in the U.S. government, flied to China to meet her after 4days online chatting.What make you feel more surprise is：At this exciting time for the dawn ,they fell in love at first sight, just like all of the love story of a happy ending, they decided to spend their life together,forever.

We also talked about her picture, she was sure that really only put one on dating site. She said: "He likes my true face, a pair of lost big eyes and very sincere. Some people put the artistic photos, or making interesting pose what make him feel not reliable." Very interesting, people sometimes always thinking about things too complicated,ask for  too many skills .From her example can be seen, in fact, do not have any skills is the real best skills.My girlfrien's genuine and real attracted a  gentleman who far across the ocean ,and it became the bond of their marriage.

No matter by what means,  some people make their best side show in front of others, even the ideal side, while not the most real. People see only the best side of your strong performance. However, marriage is not about ideals, Need more true and plain. Because after all the romantic prelude, we are faced with a flat  and true life. The married life is not dressed in a gorgeous robe, but eat salted fish and Chinese cabbage together in stalemate but still enjoyable. This life is precisely what she wanted,also most Chinese girls want. So she has completed her very early wish.

So,  very interesting.

This article in chinese:我遇到这位女朋友是在去年的10月份左右，她在我附近的另一个城市工作。当时我看到了视频中的她，一双巨大的眼睛镶嵌在高高的额骨上，有点黝黑的皮肤。看起来是个非常直率的女孩。她当时正在绝望的边缘，因为她前面那位已经娶了老婆了，还在追求她，更为不可思议的是她和她的老婆都通过电话了，而且他的老婆对他的行为非常无奈。据说这名男子还先后骗过几个女人的钱（包括她的钱）。我可以看出来这件事情对她的打击很大，从她沮丧的语气中看出来，她觉得自己运气太差，她说她其实要求非常简单，只是想要一个男人好好过日子。

不过后来是峰回路转，有点不可思议，她得到了朋友的提点，想到了到互联网上面征婚，她也不知道如何操作，只是通过朋友给的一个比较流行的网站上面注册了。

更为不可思议的是，她基本上不懂英语，竟然想到嫁到国外去。

有趣的是她用的照片。当她把照片晒出来的时候，我们好几个女孩都觉得她放的照片不是很有个性，就是用摄像头把一张脸拍下来。照片那双无辜的大眼睛显得非常迷茫。一位比较年长的姐妹更加直接地告诉她，你这样的照片会招惹骗子，因为你的目光显得非常茫然，一副不知所谓的样子。虽然她还是乐于接受意见，但是我们大概心里面都会觉得她可能会经历很长一段时间的寻寻觅觅，毕竟她显得毫无头绪，毫无准备，而且还想去大洋彼岸找丈夫，这真有点......不过我心里还是非常赞赏她的直率，真诚和勇敢的。

然而不久前我听到了她的一些消息。于是昨天晚上我和她联系上了。我们互问近况。她原来正在筹备和美国的未婚夫的团聚。这个真让我愕然了。是什么让这跨越时空，跨越国界的事情轻而易举地发生了？

这本来就不算是什么新闻，神奇的是她的未婚夫，一位在美国政府工作的华人，竟然才和她在网上聊了四天就飞过来看她了，这一激动人心的时刻到来之际，他们一见钟情，并跟所有的爱情故事的美满结局一样，他们决定相守一生。

我们又谈到了她的照片，她确定说自己其实只放了一张。她说：”他喜欢我真实的面孔，一双迷茫的大眼睛非常真诚。网上好些个放艺术照，或者扭捏作态的让他感觉很不可靠。“很有趣，人们有时候总是把寻找伴侣的事情想得过于复杂，过于技巧化，从她的例子可以看出来，其实没有任何的技巧才是真正的技巧。我这位女朋友的真诚和真实感动了远在大洋彼岸的绅士，并成为他们婚姻的纽带。

不管通过什么途径，有的人会把自己最好的一面展示在别人面前，甚至是最理想的一面，而不是最真实的一面。人们看到的仅仅是你极力表现的最理想的一面。然而婚姻生活不是谈理想，有的是真实和平淡。因为一切的浪漫前奏过后，我们面对的是平平凡凡，真真实实，相濡以沫的生活。这种夫妻生活不是一袭华丽的睡袍，而是吃咸鱼和白菜也有滋有味的相持相守的过程。而这种生活恰恰是她想要的，也是大部分中国女人想要的。于是她找到一个和她过日子，并相守终身的人。

所以,这事情非常有趣。

The Children's early education is very important, and often determines the direction of their life. Some people always think that their kids are still young, Let them grew up and they will understand or give them slowly discipline. I think this is the biggest misconception.

There is an old Chinese proverb: "age of three decides on the age of eighty“，which means "the child is father of the man”, We can said that once the character and the habit of kids formed at the age of three , they will not be easily changed even they get 80 years old. London, UK Institute of Psychiatry in a recent study shows that the three-year-old children's words and deeds actually indicates that the adult‘s character. The results of this study undoubtedly offer a scientific basis for the famous Chinese old saying. I always thought that the kids' education is the sooner the better, the sooner the more easier.Neglect of early education, which is why many parents in the difficult post-education. This is the biggest inspiration in my six years of primary education.

So do you have a simple way to give the most effective education to our kids?In Ada's opinion:Do the most basic things: do not spoil your kids. Major cities in China, Doting phenomenon of kids is quite common. This can be easily tell from the number of pocket-money payment to their kids. Survey data show that：Combination of income level, the number of the Chinese people's pocket-money payment is relatively higher than in the U.S.The American People value their children's education,many parents require their kids must do household chores to have their pocket-money.

Children‘s pocket-money and the right money values are linked. University of Washington’s finance professor —Lewis, Mandell, Research on children's pocket money in the past 50 years, He pointed out that some kids who can get  pocket-money on a regular basis and unconditional, tend to not understand the thinking value for money, in fact, he said,  these kids seem to be more likely to grow as "slackers" ,because they are not making money from learning and the opportunity of work. At the same time,another search result shows that pay the pocket money to kids, may cause more harm than good for their future financial knowledge and skills.

In my opinion,in the kids' growth process, let them develop a good habit to love labor instead of the payment of pocket-money, give kids verbal praise and recognition if them do.can also give them some small reward, so they will virtually learn  that “No pains, no gains” , also know how to find pleasure in the labor. Trying to nurture kids, helping them rather than spoiling them,I believe every parent want their children to become a useful person, do not want their kids feel that they can get anything without efforts.



There are some pictures of my students,if you are interested ,I can tell you their stories.

I  just read that Jennie Garth and Peter Facinelli  put out an official statement , that after 11 years of marriage, they are divorcing, but remain committed to parenting their 3 daughters though.

So sad that another long term couple is calling it quits. 11 years marriage and also 3 Adorable kids.what more,a few more years of dating before that, is a long time to know each other, especially in Hollywood!I am shock.

No mention of reasons behind the divorce, but this is her 2nd divorce, and she is just turning 40. I know she seems to be a very committed and busy mom, with some acting gigs here and there, and he is busy with Twilight, so what do you think?

Celebrities seem to be more likely to divorce, it is estimated that because of their communicative face a wide range of options, making the cost of divorce is lower than the average person. many marriages in China, even if there is a third party, or they have cracks,but still struggling to keep up, this is very common in ordinary people’s homes.Sometimes  for their children，sometimes for frame. Although the divorce rate in the celebrity circles of Asia is higher than civilians, but far less than the West. According to Wikipedia’s statistics, China’s divorce rate is 12.8% (2004), the United States is 34% (2009) ，I think This estimate relates to the concepts and culture.

In my view that marriage often need a dedication, sometimes it is a belief. For example, the Christian‘s divorce rate is generally low. The case of divorce are often means  a reshuffle of someone's life, which means that you need to re-start the formation of a new family, the ensuing adventure seems more.With children, the new family's relationship is more complex or tension. You meet the challenge more than ever. In any case, the children in a complete family which are the best to them, It will be a significant impact on his life.

You say: I make the greatest efforts, but he/she does not want to continue. Then we had to move forward, because we know we have done the best efforts, nothing to be ashamed, after all,as we said: tomorrow is another day.

Good News:See the picture below from wiki, the divorce rate and marriage rate of the American people are both declining, this is a good sign that people have a more rational choice of marriage, Are you happy now ?

♥ 10 keys to make a good harmony♥
This is what Ada Aba's Summary from life，so what do you think?

【1】Same world outlook------If you are idealists, The improvement of the character rather than the pursuit of material and sensuality. then you have to find the same.

【2】same faith------ you are very serious Christians.you can learn about bible everyday,you guys have something more important to share.


【3】common life goal-----Here is an exampla--Serving God/Happy marriage/Healthy kids/Helping others/successful in career,are you having the same goal?

【4】similar interests------just put it to be a list ,then find the same or nearly the same.you will enjoy mostly of the time with her or him，That an easy example_My interests---Writing-book-Nature-Internet-Cooking-art-Dancing-Family-    Museums-News-Politics-Philosophy-Photography-Poetry-Shopping-Traveling-Volunteering-gym-Jogging-walking-hiking-church-history-hugs-kisses-surprise-Music-Meditation-Movies

【5】Learn about one another's cultures------IF you guys come from different country,I think that is common in nowadays .eastern culture is more traditional,The Western culture loves adventure and exploration. from an educational standpoint, a couple from different culture, could be helpful to both couples and our children in adapting to the internationalized age we live in.

【6】Communicate well-----Good Communication helps to build trust and strengthen in our relationship. allow you mate talk first,You will never see her or him roll her or his eyes at you when you say something because your mate will respect you. Do not take any major decisions about the family without consulting with your mate.

【7】Same lifestyle------If you leading a  lifestyle like this --No smoking drinking drug/Exercise regularly/Organic food/no clubbing/A regular daily routine/No gambling/No speculative/No debt,good choice and heathy,just looking for the same style for your rest of you life.

【8】The same way to treat people-------
*To family----always put family to No1.how she or he treat their family,that would be the way to treat you.
*To friends---- make friends with similar interests .
*To kids---you guys have the same idea on kids,how many kids will you have?do not afraid to discuss more about how to teach your kids in the future.
*To stranger----are you both enjoy volunteering?or charitable donation.I think that is a simple question to ask your mate to test if you have the same feeling about helping people.
【9】The same way to treat relationship-------If you have high ideals about love,one man one woman, a family eventually,100%Attention and effort to each other, so do not be surprise that his hands always find yours, If you enjoy lovers' world as more as often,do not date someone Too independent,do not shy to ask how much time would you like to spend with me,see if you can handle this with him or her.Make a  decision at the very beginning,do not push her or him,beacuse,you can never change people,we  are going to find the right one.

【10】the same attitude on career-------If you are very ambitious, want to have a career as wonderful as you can, but her or him  will always be content with things as they are now,never thinking about  promotion,then you are not right for each other.

what about your story?

I think Video game is not good for adults and children.

It is not good for kids, some of them involving violence and pornography, your kids can not leave your supervision, you can be difficult to be long-term for taking the time to observe him what game to play, some of the children lack of self-restraint, leading to addiction and affect their learning. Therefore, do not let him involved in online games is the best way. Especially the children of primary stage.I think mostly of parents perfer their kids to be cut up and bruised from climbing trees and riding bikes, not fat-assed in front of the TV being conditioned for army drone piloting.



It is not good for Adults either, not entirely healthy entertainment. Even If you try hard to find a more useful intelligence game, but sedentary body  are not good, and Vision will also be affected.not a healthy leisure activity. I can say that in my life,I have never played online game, I would prefer traveling, visiting museums, reading books or swimming.

So what a situation  about video games in your country?

For some reason,we have to find someone online,and it Makes the process more interesting and the range of choice extended to trans-regional, or even cross-bordermore.

In some case online dating sites were making  people meeting someone have chemistry and make a match.  online dating sites and alos social network may encourage  compatible with two people finding a strong connection.

 Overwhelmingly, people prefer to start out as friends before jumping into a romantic relationship. Friendship is the filter to finding a compatible match with 89 percent of men and 96 percent of women preferring to be friends before lovers. Sure, it may well be that girls are cultivating friendships and guys are cultivating future options, but it’s a critically important part of the courting process.

Starting out as friends is obviously the better way to do relationships. If you think  that’s the existential problem facing the dating site.Ada will advice you use some social network such as something below:

A lot of people make the long distance relationship work,I think it would not be such difficult,just need some reason,the reason is you are looking for each other,Have you two share the same 'core' values in life with each other? (Family, friends, money, work, dreams, ambitions, kids etc.)and also share similar interests?beacuse those are things you could do together.
If you find someone really click with you ,and you two  have the plan to get together,then I wish you successful,and I think you have a lot of patience, which means you maybe more easily overcome the difficulties you encounter in the future between you two.

In China we have The story of Cowherd and Weaver Girl, the story is a myth, but touched several generations.Cowherd and Weaver Girl is the Metaphor of long distance couples.Do you want to hear the story?Here goes:

Cowherd, a human being, and the Weaving Girl, a fairy. They fall in love with each other, get married,But sad that they were forced to separate and blocked by the Milky Way. Out of compassion for them,Only  on the seventh day of the seventh lunar month each year, flocks of magpies fly to form a bridge with their bodies over the Milky Way, allowing the Cowherd and the Weaving Girl to meet each other.Only once a year to mee though, but there is love forever in their hearts. Cowherd never married again.

Naturally, the seventh day of every seventh month of the lunar calendar has become Chinese Valentine's Day. It is named as  The Qixi Festival.On this day, Chinese women customarily look up into the night sky, searching for the Weaver Girl Star and the Cowherd Star(There are 2 stars's name we made in the sky) on both sides of the Milky Way and hoping to see their annual gathering. Meanwhile, girls on the ground hope to have clever hands and good sense, just like the Weaving Girl. They also pray for a happy marriage of their own. Thus, the Qixi Festival has been entrenched in Chinese culture.

As we move into the Bible's stories about Joseph, we meet a dreamer who is also much-loved by his father, Jacob.I love the story of Joesph.Joesph is a great son,also  a Truth finder and dream maker.May be too honest,He told people what dream he made,which means that he will run the show.Their brothers were very jealous of him.They sell him as a pig ,which means sending him to Egypt for trafficking purposes.

But he never sad or complain, still belive in god,and did whatever he should do to move on his life.Later he got  False accusation.The Pharaoh of Egypt put him into prison. But he never gave hope up,still try to find the chance getting out of trouble.

At the end ,he got an unexpected help , and later became a prime minister of Egypt,
what harder,he even forgave his brothers who did harm to himself.when the famine came and his brothers came to Egypt to seek food, they did not recognize him, but after he had them sent for other relatives he provided food for his family (thus saving Israel)and even live together later.
I wonder if I would have been that forgiving, and you? but some way, some how God will intervene!I know that God, in his wisdom and mercy, will balance the good and the evil of people's acts, and judge their kindly.So we should all keep up an optimistic belief that the world is more forgiving than is commonly supposed.Tolerance maybe another window from a closed house.God will always make a way for His people. What a mighty God we have.

In my view, mixing between different nationalities does not need to be the main consideration for couples who plan to get married. Even if each member is from the same country, they can not get over many troubles arising from dissimilarity in character or lifestyle.

The point for marriage, above all things, should be to focus on how deeply they love, trust and consider each other. If so, there will be the good harmony no matter which countries they are from.

Especially, from an educational standpoint, it could be helpful to both couples and their children in adapting to the internationalized age we live in.

• Family is  a group of  loyal supporters.

It matters what we think and feel and nobody cares more about us than the members of our families .Family is not only for our pleasure or entertainment but for all facets of life: for better or for worse,for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do we part. When we support our families we find ourselves supported,When we can count on each other and lean on each other then family works.

• families are  the lasting friends

The better we are to our spouses, children, parents or siblings etc. the more they will want to be better to us.we are true to ourselves and follow our feelings and share openly and honestly with our family. All in all, families are like the lasting friends.They teach us to have relationships with other people, how to love, how to get along, how to share,etc. They are the people we can always turn to...and they know us so well.

So what is The concept of the family in China?According to Ada's 20 years' observation.The Chinese people usually put family to No. 1.Family write in chinese is 家（jia）.They think of that as long as family works,all other stuff will place. They are strongly centered on collectivism, that the achievement of the whole is more than the achievement of all its parts.They rely on each other, and together they achieve their goals. They are very concerned about the next generation.


So what is your concept so far?